Ottawa, We're Sorry. You Deserve Better. (Suck It, Melnyk)

ottawa, Senators -

Ottawa, We're Sorry. You Deserve Better. (Suck It, Melnyk)

This past season in Ottawa has a been a Charlie Foxtrot. And, we feel for the fans of the city. 

The Ottawa Senators are the type of team that reminds us of that one kid in high school; he was a nice fella that got along with everyone and didn't have any enemies.  He was the type of kid that you wanted to see succeed. But, his parents were dicks. Well, that, in a nutshell, is how we feel about the Sens. 

Listen Ottawa, there are 30 teams out there that would love to have some of the talent you possess and a coach like Guy Bouchard. But geez, does your owner suck!!! Remeber this gem of an interview:

Well listen chief, your organization is a fucking disaster, but move it? NO. You need to wash your hands of it and sell it. This is a trickle-down effect if we've ever seen one, and your city deserves so much better. To blame fans for not showing up, fuck off bud. You're in the capital of hockey country....literally. There'd be people giving their left ball to cheer on the team if the management weren't such asshats. From shitty deals to scandals, the Sens organization is a complete dumpster fire. 

While Ottawa has gone further down the wormhole in the Melnyk era, we think there are some possibilities of new ownership. Here are our thoughts:

Oh, Danny Boy

The average career in the NHL is around 5 years and only 4% of players can claim they've played over 1,000 games. But Daniel Alfredsson spent 18 years in the NHL, 17 of them with Ottawa, and 13 years as their captain. 


As the darling in Ottawa, Alfie left for his 18th season to join the Red Wings in Detroit. Was there something between him and management, or was he purely chasing Lord Stanley? Perhaps it was the chase for the grail, as Alfie did return to Ottawa in the Hockey Ops department. But this time, it was short lived after only two years. At the time we believed his canned, respectable response on leaving, but these comments this past spring make it clear something else was up:

"We hope we get a new owner." ~Alfie

Well gosh darn, there it is. Bad blood...we think so. 

Here's an idea...why doesn't Alfie head a group to try and buy the Sens? This could mark a turnaround for the city and the franchise. Much like it did in Pittsburgh when Lemieux took the helm. A beloved athlete comes back to rescue a team in shambles.

The City of Ottawa

The Green Bay Packers, the Edmonton Eskimos, a slew of CHL teams...what do they all have in common? They're owned by the people!

When you have a team that is publicly owned, there is a new lifeblood and the fans will bleed the colors through and through. 

Hoser Hockey Co. 

While we would do it in a heartbeat, not sure we can afford the $300+M valuation of the organization. Wait, let us clarify, we definitely can't afford that. But, if you lovely people of the hockey community decide our gear is cool enough worth purchasing, just visit a couple million times and we'll give it a go. 

Until then, feel free to check out some of the Hoser Hockey gear. 

The Future Of The Sens

Melnyk claims he won't sell the team, but he's not a complete idiot. If offered the right deal, anyone could do anything. 

If you have to ask, you can't afford it. - Hoser Hockey Co.

Either case, we're pretty sure any other option would be much better than current ownership. But, we pass the question to you, what are your thoughts on the Sens? Do you want to see them move, bought by someone else, or you just don't care? Let us know in the comments. 

1 comment

  • Boner McJams

    As a lifelong Sens fan, that’d be dope if we as a city could buy them. You’re right though about the money, if offered enough, there is no telling what Melnyk would do. He’s terrible though. #MelnykOut

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